More Dad lessons

My hero pop - I spent a few days with him this week. He is over eighty, a cancer survivor, has very poor eyesight and yet wakes up before us all and encourages us strongly to accompany him on eighteen holes of golf as often as possible. This is after being in icu for a month on a ventilator just six months ago and recovering from a broken arm just a month ago. Nothing stops him.  He has his will on his side.

We sat and spoke about animal behaviour during some down time and once again he got me thinking. He practised as a vet for over fifty years and this in the day when most insight was discovered hands on. Without ultrasounds or x-rays. And from a behaviour point of view he was winging it and learning how to ensure the most practical safe solutions all the time. He felt his way to success.

We were speaking about how dogs seem to sense fear. He believes this was one of his biggest lessons and suggests that if we are afraid we are basically unpredictable. So it makes complete sense for a dog to be on high alert around us. If we are unpredictable we pose a threat to the dog or whichever animal we are working alongside.

This is a cool life lesson too. When our backs are up it is required that those around us need to be weary for their own good. And this creates a defensive aggressive co dependent cycle between ourselves and the person with whom we are in relationship.

The annual agricultural show in our home town required a vet on duty and my dad was it. He spoke of a time in the early seventies when he was called at the show to treat a police dog. The dog was the first Rottweiler to be imported to the country. The gorgeous creature had a head like a lion and the body of a wrestler. When my dad arrived at the scene the dog was chained to the pole and the handler was 20 meters away waiting. Unnerved, my father walked towards the dog with his black suitcase. The vet trove - filled with medicines and diagnostic necessaries. He sat near to the dog, held his hand out for the animal to sniff him then petted him on his majestic head. My dad then began his clinical - Looked at the mucous membranes in his mouth and eyes and took his temperature and palpated his abdomen. He noted that the dog had a likely case of biliary and went to prepare a couple of injections. As he was about to inject the dog the handler advised "Moenie Dokter. Hy sal jou doodmaak" translated - Don't Doctor, he will kill you.

My father, used to clients advising him of their own fears gave the handler the courtesy of a nod and continued gently. The dog behaved like perfect patient. Dad finished up, petted the dog and let the animal lick his hand.

My dad was not telling me the story to make himself out to be a hero. I had never heard the story before. He wanted to make a point about fear and how it colours our perception. Turns out the dog had killed people before in the line of duty. The poor handler had an aversion to needles and was still growing a trusting relationship with his new friend and so experiencing some untrusting moments. The handler was effectively learning how to use a new weapon and not a hundred percent confident he could succeed. My dad just saw a dog and responded to the information the dog was presenting. He was not seeing the dog through his own fear filter. And so, in this neutral state - this is where the dog met him. 

I loved the end of my dad's story as he added his own customized twist. Being an avid golfer he has learned many life lessons from the game. He read a book by Jack Niklaus and recounted how when the professional golfer was told how amazing a golfer he was during an interview, the Pro responded by saying he was no better than most golfers but believed he had one skill
- after he hit a shot he put the feeling of the shot down when he put the club back in the bag.
This left him unhampered by expectation and free to put clarity into the next shot. Dad said that this was how he worked successfully with animals. He was able to note where the animals were in every moment. He felt that even the most traumatized animals would calm down when a threatening human was out of the mix. Even a loving handler or owner's concern could change the animal's behaviour because the person, whom the animal has come to rely on for safety and security - is no longer a predictable support.

I am so grateful for my Dad. Every word of wisdom. Every lesson he imparts. His strength, resilience and example. ❤️🌹