Respect - fear or love?

The question - what is true respect. If I truly respect a human being I will let them choose in relationship with me. True respect is love. It is not domination. I cannot command respect from another. I have to earn it. And I earn it from a human being by becoming a trustworthy presence in their lives.

It is funny to think that there are so many of us that feel we have to demand respect. Most parents of teenagers will have become frustrated when they felt their child was 'disrespectful'. And needed 'discipline' to ensure it was taught to respect. But respect is a feeling. It cannot be forced. Fear can be forced. Do I want my teenager or an animal in relationship with me to 'fear' me - NO!

When an animal is learning, it is choosing. If it enters into flight, freeze of fight mode, it is reacting. At this point there is no choice. It may learn something, but the learning is a stress response and will continue to be a stress response in the presence of that 'punisher' which created the stress. So, if we wish to get our horses to respect us by submitting, then there is a strong chance we are punishing them into freeze. A difficult horse may be one who does not freeze - and become - bombproof, but one that reacts by fighting. A different response to the same stress.

I am so grateful that I have learned this information. Grateful too that there is a nicer way to work with all animals. When we force our hand - and sometimes we may do this unwittingly, we are dominating the animals. And this is not the relationship I choose to have with the animals that I know.

Comments

What is success?

Success is not giving a hoot. If you can be a 45 year old cat woman playing in front of 3000 people, totally uninhibited, then you are succeeding. Because if you are able to do that, you are in the present moment, not caring about what anybody else thinks. Not worried about their judgements or how you think you should be coming across. (ok, so I was a little worried, so not 100% successful, but I continue to strive to be free of this nonsence) When you have that presence of mind in front of animals, that is when you are succeeding.

Overwhelmed

Sometimes I spend time with people who see others in a different way to me. I am left feeling insecure in my intuition. Some believe that human beings are inherently bad. I prefer to see them as inherently good. With regard to people in relationship with animals, any poor relations, I see as misunderstandings or confused belief systems. I need to be able to trust my take on people. Because if I don't, there is no hope. If we don't inherently care, if we don't have that foundation to which we can return once we put our ego and greed aside, then there is no hope. People governed by their egos do three things when faced by challenges - 1. Keep doing the sam and expect a different result. 2. Dig in their heels and force the issue. 3. Give up and walk away with an excuse. All points refuse to acknowledge a problem which can be solved because it is a problem of our own making. So, when I look around and see litter, pollution, unethical care of humans and animals, corrupti...

A Lesson in Surrender

I always found the concept of surrender a cop out. Something one would do if one was too weak to take on a situation. So, when I found myself in a situation where I am unable to follow my passion in the most effective manner, I experienced great discomfort. Speaking up was immediately taken as judgement. Even though it was never intended as that. The presumed judgement resulted in defence. And the drama began, and unfolded. Chasms and vindication ruled. Frustration and finger pointing. What has this to do with animals? For those of us that work with animals, they are like kids. They sense how we feel. Our moods affect them. So, when this type of angst environment is created, the disturbance affects the creatures that we love. The lesson – stop the angst. It is not worth upsetting the animals. Nothing is. So, surrender. Not sure where this will go. But I am here righ...

Touching Animal Souls

Search This Blog