self awareness and then some

I probably have a martyr persona. I have noticed in the past that the attention I have received from working really hard or similar has been a pay off of sorts. This type of self-awareness has been described as personal growth. I find it easier and easier to have this consciosness about myself, for the most part that is.

Then there are parts of me that hit over-drive and angst faster than the speed of light. Buttons in me that are so hot that just a breath of air on them makes them ignite a fire of passion and emotional tremblings inside me. There are two very distinct buttons
- when you mess with or upset my children
- when you are mean to animals.
What is it that turns me into a blind maniac? Is it a Jungian super hero complex, or is it a natural maternal instinct?
With these questions burning inside me, I notice that there are instinct triggers in animals too - not messing with their young is a trigger for sure - survival of the species. And with my dogs, even though they are not attack trained, I know for sure they will take anyone out who tries to harm any of our family members - so they are securing their pack.

So, do I use this information to justify my responses?

Comments

What is success?

Success is not giving a hoot. If you can be a 45 year old cat woman playing in front of 3000 people, totally uninhibited, then you are succeeding. Because if you are able to do that, you are in the present moment, not caring about what anybody else thinks. Not worried about their judgements or how you think you should be coming across. (ok, so I was a little worried, so not 100% successful, but I continue to strive to be free of this nonsence) When you have that presence of mind in front of animals, that is when you are succeeding.

Overwhelmed

Sometimes I spend time with people who see others in a different way to me. I am left feeling insecure in my intuition. Some believe that human beings are inherently bad. I prefer to see them as inherently good. With regard to people in relationship with animals, any poor relations, I see as misunderstandings or confused belief systems. I need to be able to trust my take on people. Because if I don't, there is no hope. If we don't inherently care, if we don't have that foundation to which we can return once we put our ego and greed aside, then there is no hope. People governed by their egos do three things when faced by challenges - 1. Keep doing the sam and expect a different result. 2. Dig in their heels and force the issue. 3. Give up and walk away with an excuse. All points refuse to acknowledge a problem which can be solved because it is a problem of our own making. So, when I look around and see litter, pollution, unethical care of humans and animals, corrupti...

A Lesson in Surrender

I always found the concept of surrender a cop out. Something one would do if one was too weak to take on a situation. So, when I found myself in a situation where I am unable to follow my passion in the most effective manner, I experienced great discomfort. Speaking up was immediately taken as judgement. Even though it was never intended as that. The presumed judgement resulted in defence. And the drama began, and unfolded. Chasms and vindication ruled. Frustration and finger pointing. What has this to do with animals? For those of us that work with animals, they are like kids. They sense how we feel. Our moods affect them. So, when this type of angst environment is created, the disturbance affects the creatures that we love. The lesson – stop the angst. It is not worth upsetting the animals. Nothing is. So, surrender. Not sure where this will go. But I am here righ...

Touching Animal Souls

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