control - tell or ask?
Much easier to go back a step and explain. But to do that, we have to put down our need to be right. Because it would mean that we have not communicated carefully in the first place - which is our own personal 'wrong'.
When we don't, more and more stress eventually creates an classically conditioned state of associating us with stress. Do we really want that. Stop, Look, Adjust and Move. Go back a step and explain again. Be nice - which means, be precise (in the original dictionaries). Be kind.
Imagine a world where we assumed that everyone was trying to do the right thing, rather than everyone was out to get us. It is the best lesson we can learn from animals. - when they fail to please us, look at what we are doing incorrectly