control - tell or ask?

Every creature needs to feel as though it has control over its life.  When we train animals, or even manage our pets at home, the most common statement out of people's mouths when the plan goes awry is that 'they know what to do'.  So we stand firm and dig our heels in and actually, great stats re in favour of the fact that the animal is confused and does not know what we want.  If our relationship has more control than it should, then the animal is probably even in a state of stress trying to please us.  And yet we believe they should do as we telepathically insist - we do this in life too.  Expect all sorts of things without communicating carefully. 

Much easier to go back a step and explain.  But to do that, we have to put down our need to be right.  Because it would mean that we have not communicated carefully in the first place - which is our own personal 'wrong'. 

When we don't, more and more stress eventually creates an classically conditioned state of associating us with stress.  Do we really want that.  Stop, Look, Adjust and Move.  Go back a step and explain again.  Be nice - which means, be precise (in the original dictionaries).  Be kind. 

Imagine a world where we assumed that everyone was trying to do the right thing, rather than everyone was out to get us.  It is the best lesson we can learn from animals. - when they fail to please us, look at what we are doing incorrectly


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