Every now and then, these moments happen in relationship with animals. Some days we just think that the animal (or person for that matter) has their own agenda. Our victim persona's or dominatrix alter egoes take over, and we believe that we are the target, and that nobody is responding to us as we wish. With animals, I feel safe enough to look closer. To imagine that perhaps whatever the animal is doing is a response to some poor communication on my part. What I have found, is that most times, the animal is simply doing what it thinks it should be doing. In my being reactive, I confuse the situation further, and the animal becomes more "wayward" as far as my judgement is concerned. Here is an example. A young dog playing with a person is intrigued when the person squeals when the dogs mouths them in its play. The dog is rewarded by the squeal - it is exciting energy, something that the dog finds rewarding. So, he tries it again, and when he gets less of a response, tries harder, and it hurts - and then we have an aggressive dog. One that people will label as aggressive. When it was simply poor communication.
With human beings it is even worse. My children are suffering the trial of trying to keep me happy. And visa versa. So often we are not even thinking of how we are coming across in relationship with others. We are too busy being caught up in our own misery.
Thank God for my moments with animals. Today was Khethiwe and Frodo. A mother and calf dolphin pair. Eager to please, and excited. I was able to fine tune my training rather than get egotistical. We were all happy in the session. Them with their success. Bounding excitedely, bright eyed and enjoying my easy disposition. Me, simply being. In relationship with such unconditional souls. I am so very very lucky.